The worse feet you’ve ever seen?!? BItch!
Day 4 and we start it off right by getting a massage. We arrange for the same group of women as the day before, to show up at 7am. Darren decided he wanted to lie on top of a pillow during his massage, so when he went back to the room to snag one, I stole his masseuse. Well, I didn’t really steal her cause she approached me to get started. Perahaps she didn’t want to work on a boney long body and preferred a softer wider one with me. Whatever was the case, she was a lot better than the stinky women that rubbed me down yesterday. Woot!
Since this was our last day at Boracay, we crammed a lot of things to do before we flew back to Manila. We ate breakfast and showered and then we headed out to the foot spa, Footsies. Cute name for a cute little place. We showed up and they didn’t have enough people working there, so they made a phone call and some more showed up. This is so typical here. Make a phone call 
and people just show up. I don’t know where they come from but people just appear out of thin air. We want 6 masseuses and 6 masseuses show up magically on the beach. We want 6 people to give us pedicures, and 6 people show up within minutes and get to work. It’s amazing stuff and I wish it was that easy back in Vancouver. So back at the footspa, they had a dude show up and he was obviously a little on the fruity side. I thought for sure that he would go straight to Wes, but apparently he liked tall native looking guys and selected Darren. So we were each getting our feet soaked in a foot spa basin filled with warm water and bubbles. It was a relatively pleasant experience. Then they started working on our feet, by scraping off the dead skin. Wes just had to ask each of the workers who had ‘bad’ feet, "Does she have bad feet? Does he have bad feet?". So he gets around to asking the woman working on me, and she nods and says ‘yes!’. It wasn’t so much that she said yes, it was the way she said it with the expression on her face. It was more like ‘OH YES! His feet fucking suck ass’. So right there, the whole place started laughing; Lisa leading the pack, Darren, Becky, Wes, Cheryl, all the other employees, the owner, the other client they had, and the owner’s dog. Well, it seemed like everyone was laughing at me at least. I was laughing right along with them, but it kept going. My masseuse went on to tell Cheryl that I had the worse feet she had ever seen, and I guess it was supposed to make me feel better that she had only been at this type of work for 5 months. Bitch!! Oh well, I made her work for her money and I guess that was worth it. For once on this trip, someone in the room was sweating harder than me. By the time she was done, my feet did feel and look a whole lot better. It was money well spent!
We got back to the resort and immediately checked out. We took another boat back to the island with the airport and then an hour or so later, we boarded Ghetto Air again. This second time around, it was a different plane, but the exact same problems occurred. There was smoke coming out from the ceiling 
and dripping water again.
.This time we weren’t phased by it. We landed safely
and everything was a-OK.
We headed back to Cheryl’s place and while stuck in traffic, we decided to get some Jollibees. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s the biggest fastfood chain in the Philippines. To put it into perspective, it outsells McDonalds, and at one time, McDonalds was thinking about closing up all of their restaurants here because they weren’t number one. What a bunch of crybabies eh? So Cheryl made another phone call and had someone pick us up some Jollibees for our return to the apartment. They basically snagged a little bit of everything for us. Burgers, fried chicken, spaghetti, palabok, meat pies, dessert pies. It was already 5 pm by the time we got the food so I only had a bite of each item. The deep fried tuna pie was suprisingly delicious and their burger was pretty damn good too. I would describe it as a cross between a Wendy’s burger and a Triple-O burger. They are famous for their fried chicken but we weren’t overly impressed by it. It was dry and most of the pieces we received were white meat. The palabok is a vermecilli dish and it was also quite tasty. I would recommend giving the burger, the palabok and the tuna pie a try if you ever make it out to the Philippines.
So, thus far, there has been a lot of good eating on this trip. Lots and lots of eating! We already think that we’ve gained some pounds. Lisa, who typically doesn’t each much at home, has been out-eating Wes. This is no small feat so this goes to show that she really loves the food back here. I think for the most part, the food has been excellent and the local cuisine has surpassed any expectations that I had. They use a lot of vinegar here and everything is sour or uses a sour dipping sauce. The people who have grown up here love eating green mangos and shrimp paste. I tried it out and it sucks. I don’t understand the appeal of it cause it’s sour green mangos with a salty shrimpy paste smothered over it. The shrimp paste is kinda like an anchovie paste. I guess you needed to grow up eating it to enjoy it. I think it’s safe to say that it’s an acquired taste.
Later that night, we went out for dinner again with Lisa’s friends and famiy. It was a bit of an informal wedding reception. For those that don’t know, Lisa and Wes were married over a year ago in Vancouver, so they had a nice dinner set up at Gloria Maris again. I recognized a couple of faces that showed up and everyone who was around our age was married and trading pictures of their kids. Everyone here has children right after getting married. When will one of you guys have some kids eh? Lisa and Wes weren’t calling it a wedding dinner but it was clearly a meal for the friends and family that were not able to attend the wedding last year. Closer to the end of the dinner, our table started to bang the glasses and plates to invoke a kiss (or two) from them. Lisa told us not to do it, but we went ahead and did it anyway. She was embarassed and threw a wet towel at us. She could have taken out my eye!! Ahh fun times!! Dinner was great again. Another spectacular meal and another notch on the belt. Did I tell you how wonderful the food here was? Oh man, it’s so good! I don’t know who paid for it yet, but I will be sure to thank them tomorrow.
After dinner, Darren, Becky and I met up with Kerwin. We headed out to UCC for some dessert and coffee. The dessert sucked ass. We tried three different kinds and none of them were appealing. The tiramisu was soggy, the expressimo one I selected was rock hard and way too buttery. Darren selected some chocolate peanut one which was the best of the three, but it still sucked. I ordered a $4 hawaii kona coffee and it was that special either. Overall, the place was not up to par with the rest of the food we had eaten here. Oh well, I guess that was to be expected.
Anyway, it’s 6am here and I got up in the middle of the night specifically to write this up. Time for some beauty rest now. I gotta be up in 2 hours from now. Catch ya later!
~ Anthony
